Indenture Yourself

You graduated, at long last. You took out $25,000 in student loans, the average student debt, but it was worth it. Except that you graduated many months ago, and not only are there no jobs in your field, there are no jobs anywhere.

Is that what’s bothering you, Bucky? Well, weep no more, because a solution is ready at hand. Not only you, but all your unemployed friends can get in on this, and everything will be well. Here’s what you do.

Indenture Yourself! Yessir. Offer your valuable assistance at any sort of work, any sort, for the equivalent of minimum wage, $7.25 an hour. At the end of your indenture your master pays off your entire loan, and you can start looking for work again. Problem solved!

Now, how long will your indenture be? Not long at all. If you have the typical $25,000 student loan, it will take you a mere 3,448 hours to completely clear your debt. Why, that’s only 86 weeks! If your debt is $100,000, it’s a mere 345 weeks, or a wee bit more than 6½ years. Piece of cake.

Here’s what I really, actually suggest. I suggest that each person with significant debt and no job prepare several copies of an indenture offering, spelling out that you are willing to work for minimum wage to absolve your debt. On ML King day, Monday, January 16th, everyone in the country, not just Occupy, but everyone, submit one copy to your newspaper, one to a TV news station, one to the agency to which you are indebted, one each to your elected representatives, and post one or more copies in a prominent public place.

I’m sure some of our unemployed designers would be willing to prepare such an indenture offering form, along the lines of the official 17th century agreements shown below. With proper publicizing and enough public noise, the action should attract some much needed attention. Spread the word.

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